I’m not a politician.

Or one of those political analyst chicks.

I’m not a lawyer,

I don’t have a poly-sci degree.

Hell, I’m not even much of a writer…

But I am smart enough to know we fucked this one up AMERICA!

We totally and completely fucked this one up. Wow. I woke up this morning expecting to see The Hillz all over my tube. Read all about her on Facebook, and on my cool CNN app. I was crossing my fingers in my sleep… just hoping for the best of the worst. If all y’all read my last blog, then you know my stance on the election. I was clearly not a supporter of either candidate, and moving to Canada has been on my mind since we started this whole debacle. Which so you know, is not the craziest of thougths I guess! Today, one of my most favourite (notice my spelling, please) publications, THE SKIMM, said that I am in good company! I guess people were Googling “Canada” and “citizenship”…So much that last night the Canadian immigration site literally crashed. Ha. Who woulda thunk it? Well ME! I did. I have been packing my Tamakwa duffle bags for days…

We are all completely screwed!

Or are we?

Is our nation really that fucked? Are we utterly doomed? Or can we feel good about telling our kids that a man who hates most of our country because they aren’t white, is our new President? Actually, our very first president without military or government experience…Hmmm. I’ll let you ponder that for a sec. A man that literally told us to “grab our pussies” is now the “face” of our nation. I swear, does he want me to be his speech writer? How about PR? I can say “pussy” better than any guy I know. Dang. Yo, Mr. Prez…it’s Jennifer Hurvitz Weintraub…give me a holla! I can surely clear my schedule.

I got a text earlier this morning from Mark. He asked me to please keep my opinions to myself around the kids. They are worried, and nervous. Zac more so than Jonah. He is a bit skiddish these days; feeling unsafe. He’s not doing so well with the leader of our country being quite so “racist and mean”. Wow. Imagine that? So, I posted a little blurb on Facebook…and all my peeps came out. They sent me articles entitled, “How do I explain this to my children?” and “What do we tell the Children?”  Ummmm. Hold the phone. You mean to tell me, at the crack of ass…there are ALREADY articles written on explaining this shit to my kids?

Does anyone else see a problem with this?

The mere fact that we have to explain anything to them is a shonda. That we have to publish articles on how to explain a presidential outcome to our kids at all is an embarrassment. I’m saddened that I have to explain anything! WTF! Come on, y’all! I need a strong, intelligent, man like Van Jones to break down on CNN during a panel discussion of Donald Trump’s possible win, to tell me what to share with my boys? To remind me to preach tolerance, and kindness….and remember the importance of justice, and equality. I sat there, listening to Van Jones, thinking…our nation will never REALLY elect this man. No way. And I went to sleep.

I couldn’t watch another minute.

I spoke to a good friend a minutes ago…he’s smart. No, he’s brilliant. I asked him to tell me we were going to be okay; that I didn’t really need to flee the country. He told me a couple of really important things, that I then shared with Zac via text. (Sorry, PD teachers) But I feel like we all need to remember this, THE PREZ really has a lot less power than we all think. Lol. I know. I’m silly. And maybe a bit uneducated, but it’s true! But I am trying to “dumb this shit down” for the readers like me. The ones that aren’t so politically savvy, ok? My brilliant friend, he said it all MUCH better. He explained  how Congress won’t let the Trumpster do all the crazy-ass bullshit he is spewing, and how technically…he can’t pass any laws at a State level. And while it is scary, and our country is going backwards…congress will protect us in the end. We are going to be ok, all y’all! Breathe. I was going to talk about “checks and balances” and “dictatorial regression”, but please. We all know, I have no clue what that any of that crap means.

But I do know this (only because my uber smart friend told me) there is the whole administrative and regulatory process…and a president today has much LESS power than a president did like, 30 years ago. Ya! Did you know that? I didn’t. I had no clue. I pretended like I did, when he was telling me all this…cause I wanted to seem smart. And he is really hot. And smart is sexy, and let’s be honest…while I am upset about The Donald aka Mr. President, I am still looking out for ME! ME ME ME!!! Let’s be real, a girl can only talk politics for so long…

So, my work is done here. And come on, people. Like I told Zac…we will all be fine. Yes, we might feel a bit nauseous today. And unsure about the state of our country. And yes, I want to throw up, and run for the Hillz. But in the end, the constitution “Trumps” everything. Ha. I so wish I could take credit for that, but I can’t. Isn’t my friend so smart and witty? And cute…he is so dang cute! ;)

God Bless America. 

xo j imgres-1


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  • Canadian

    All I got was “moving to canada”….gotta go make my bed; guest arriving soon!