Ahhhhh….

It’s just too easy. The title for my blog today. lol. Duh.

Who’s your Daddy? Or your Baby’s Daddy…that is?¬†

Well, there is no question. Your daddy is your daddy. The guy who raised you. The guy who was there when you were born…brought you into this world. The guy who watched you take your first breath. You get it, the dude that gave your Baby, his Daddy! They share the same last name, and maybe a trait or two. The same one that is worried that he’s going to lose you in the divorce. And miss you when you’re with your Mom. Ok? The one that is sitting there, watching you totally dig the new boyfriend, while secretly hating him. And wishing he was a total loser, when he’s not. The “new man” is probably great, and nice…maybe everything you aren’t. Which is fine. Crap. I’m really sorry, but don’t you want your ex to be happy? She deserves to be in a good place, right? If she moves on, the kids will be good…everyone is thrilled! You might even get out of your alimony sooner if she gets hitched! ha.

Yeesh. The kids talk about him like he’s a new toy. What does he have that you don’t have, Dad?¬†

As a Mom, you pray for the new chic to be a good mom. And nice, and blah…blah blah, right? But as the Dad, do you really want the new guy to be all that and a bag of chips? Do you want him to be better at throwing a football, or funnier? Tell better jokes, or make more money? What if he is cooler, or has a really neat job… or carries a loaded weapon, or rides a motorcycle? OMG!! Can it get any worse than that? Sure. The new dude could be a brain surgeon, or a movie star. Or have a bigger dick. That would be worse. But this is about parenting. Not the bedroom. This is all about replacing YOU, daddy-O! I mean c’mon! This new guy never punishes them, or yells. He gives them pop with caffeine, and candy…and never says no. He is like the fun-Uncle. He is super nice to their Mom because he’s on his best behavior, and he wants to “make nice”. Of course they love him. It’s a no-brainier. For now….

But listen up, Daddies…and listen closely. No one will ever take the place of you in your kid’s life. Never, not ever. No siree-bob. No matter what. Not a chance. You are the one they love, and trust. And YOU are the one they feel safe with, and comfortable. No matter what the new guy does, or says….they will always come back to you. The guy with the same last name, and the same bad habits, and same DNA. You get my point. Divorce is a crazy, silly and complicated thing. But even I know, there is no chance on God’s Green Earth, that anyone could ever take the place of a father in their child’s life. Hold on to that, the next time you hear your kid talking about how “kick-ass” the new guy is. Just swallow, and breathe…and know that you are the one that they want.

So, Happy Father’s Day to both of the men in my life. Two of the BEST dad’s I’ve ever known. Both of which have amazing children, and are so good at what they do….being dads. And do you know how I know? They both have the strongest relationships with their kiddos. Sigh. Which is why I kinda know how to pick ’em, dontcha think? I have pretty great taste in men, if I do say so myself. And let’s just hope that I used all the right their, there’s and they’re today. Phew! ;)

xo j

“He didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.”

 Clarence Budington Kelland

 

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