women and sex

-POPI HAVE SO MUCH TO TELL YOU!

Ok, I’ll stop yelling.

I’m just so excited!

Where do I start?

I feel like I need to make a list so I won’t forget anything. Yes! A list.

  1. I’m back with #13.
  2. I got a book deal.
  3. I went to Campowerment.
  4. I got contacts and glasses.
  5. I will be 45 next week.

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He’s such a dick.

He is the biggest asshole, ever!

He has nothing kind to say.

He can’t even return a phone call.

He doesn’t have a nice bone in his entire body.

But he’s hot as hell, he has more money than Trump….and he lives in the “cool” part of town so who cares! YES! He is a DOUCHE, but so what! It doesn’t matter, he will take care of you…pay for all your meals…and when your alimony runs out in 2022 you’ll be SET FOR LIFE! Perfect. Omg, really? Is this what we have turned into, bat-shit crazy bitches? Searching for men that treat us like garbage, have the hearts of the Grinch… and can’t even utter a nice word out of their slimy mouths. I am nauseous; actually sick to my stomach. And I’m a little embarrassed of my gender lately…

Girls, you need to grab your lady-parts and stop dating dicks. 

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We matched on Bumble.

We chatted for two days.

We exchanged numbers.

We texted for “real” on the phone.

We had an actual speaking conversation for fucksake…it was like we knew each other for years! He said all the right things; I was über witty. We continued texting on and off for a week, and even scheduled a date. A good date…At a hot spot uptown. So exciting! Then, the night before we were supposed to meet..NOTHING.

The douche goes black.

imagesI hate to say I told you so.

Ok, no I don’t.

I love it.

I frickin’ LOVE it.

Its like the best part of my day.

I TOLD YOU SO, ASSHOLES!

Ok, okay…I’m being kinda salty. I know it’s not nice to be so haughty! But I just love it when I can finally have a man admit that I’m right. And this time, all y’all…I got it in WRITING! Did you hear that? I actually got it in writing! Wowza. I had a very dear friend of mine send me a blog post admitting it! Yup, you heard me. He sent me an entry, and said that my advice …was good. It was good, and correct. And that he should have listened to me when we met for coffee, oh so long ago. He should have taken my RELATIONSHIP advice, y’all. I am like, really good at this shit! Toot, toot.

So, with his permission…I am going to post his story.

Not only does it capture my amazingness…(toot!)

But this man happens to be a fantastic writer. He has been published before, and I am quite flattered that he is even gracing my presence. I mean, really. He is stooping way low for this The Truth Hurvitz, shit. So, with no further ado-do…here it is! And just remember…

I hate to say, “I told you so!” (not really!)