women and sex

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He’s such a dick.

He is the biggest asshole, ever!

He has nothing kind to say.

He can’t even return a phone call.

He doesn’t have a nice bone in his entire body.

But he’s hot as hell, he has more money than Trump….and he lives in the “cool” part of town so who cares! YES! He is a DOUCHE, but so what! It doesn’t matter, he will take care of you…pay for all your meals…and when your alimony runs out in 2022 you’ll be SET FOR LIFE! Perfect. Omg, really? Is this what we have turned into, bat-shit crazy bitches? Searching for men that treat us like garbage, have the hearts of the Grinch… and can’t even utter a nice word out of their slimy mouths. I am nauseous; actually sick to my stomach. And I’m a little embarrassed of my gender lately…

Girls, you need to grab your lady-parts and stop dating dicks. 

imagesI hate to say I told you so.

Ok, no I don’t.

I love it.

I frickin’ LOVE it.

Its like the best part of my day.

I TOLD YOU SO, ASSHOLES!

Ok, okay…I’m being kinda salty. I know it’s not nice to be so haughty! But I just love it when I can finally have a man admit that I’m right. And this time, all y’all…I got it in WRITING! Did you hear that? I actually got it in writing! Wowza. I had a very dear friend of mine send me a blog post admitting it! Yup, you heard me. He sent me an entry, and said that my advice …was good. It was good, and correct. And that he should have listened to me when we met for coffee, oh so long ago. He should have taken my RELATIONSHIP advice, y’all. I am like, really good at this shit! Toot, toot.

So, with his permission…I am going to post his story.

Not only does it capture my amazingness…(toot!)

But this man happens to be a fantastic writer. He has been published before, and I am quite flattered that he is even gracing my presence. I mean, really. He is stooping way low for this The Truth Hurvitz, shit. So, with no further ado-do…here it is! And just remember…

I hate to say, “I told you so!” (not really!) 

1510055_705252399604448_5267575310918797372_nI am love.

I am a healer.

I am passion.

I am light.

I am authenticity.

I am sobbing….and I have FOUND MY PEOPLE.

Yes, I have. And I only have Campowerment to thank for it. And it’s not like I don’t have people here in Charlotte, or in Detroit. I do. But this past weekend, I found MY people. About 140 to be exact. Women who understand what it means to peel back the layers, and expose the inner most parts of your soul. Shut up! What? You don’t want to drink the Kool-Aid? Well, then don’t. I’m not even explaining it right. Or doing this magical place the justice it deserves, but hell…I am trying. Tammi Fuller, the QUEEN of all things Campowerment Director told us to not talk about camp. She said we should try to find the right words, before we even open our mouths about our experience. Wait, and digest it. But I can’t wait!! It’s just like this little piece of goodness that I want to share. I need to share. I have to share it!

This gift called CAMPOWERMENT.

And truth be told if I went to camp before I got divorced…I’d still be married.

images-1Snotty.

Bitchy.

Bratty.

Snarky.

Snappy.

Whatever. I am all of the above, and I’m ok with it. I’m salty. Which is what my kids called me yesterday when I got all up in their shit for not clearing the table after dinner. Well, what the hell? What are they, animals? Were they raised in a fucking barn? No. I don’t think so. So, yes… maybe I got a tad bit salty. And salty I will remain until I get what I want. But then I got even saltier with Mark. He was annoying me. I’m sorry, but he was. So I gave him some attitude, as well. And he was completely numb to it. After all, he’s not married to me anymore. He can ignore my bullshit. But he did say this,”Ummm Jen, I hope that camp teaches you how to be nice.” Hmmm. Wow. Well, fuck you too, Mark. That camp. Well, YES duh!! Isn’t that why I’m going to THAT camp? To learn how to be a better person? To learn how to get nicer, and maybe grow a set?

Then Mark said something very interesting.