jen

It’s fine if people don’t like me.

I used to care, sure. But now, not so much.  Really. Not everyone has to like me. Or this blog. Or what I’m writing. Or my f-bombs. They don’t have to think it’s “appropriate” when I say disgusting things like, “my pussy is Jewish”.  I am not here to please the entire universe. That’s not my job. And this is not a job. No sirree. And my sister said it best, “Anyone who takes any type of risk in life will always have naysayers. Look at Madonna, and Hannah Montana.” My sister is so smart. And she’s pretty. She knows everything. Let’s just go with it, ok? It’s my blog. Work with me here.

Now, I don’t think I’m even as close to as bad as that two-bit whore Miley Cyrus. She is a tramp. Right? And she’s 22, all licking her lips.. and smoking. She’s got her Jays on…sexy as all get out. HO! Wrong. She is just doing what she does best. Her THING! Look at how good she’s done for herself. She’s a fucking GENIUS. I personally think she has us all by the balls. Sitting at the edge of our seats.. waiting, and watching for her to do her put it out there. The next, big.. nasty-ass, amazing thing. And then, when she does, we all GASP! And turn our heads. And pretend not to look at the screen! UGH. But we just can’t wait to see it. WE CAN’T WAIT TO SEE WHAT SHE’S GOING TO DO NEXT TO GRAB OUR ATTENTION, AND MAKE US FREAK OUT! And sometimes, we actually like it. And we sing along with the music. We wish we could be as bad-ass as Miley.  Even if it’s in our houses with the doors shut. Because god forbid we should ever admit to liking it. Or her. Or agreeing that Miley might be an ok gal. Hmmm. Maybe, that Miley ain’t so bad after all? Gosh darn it, I wish I could just express myself like Madonna! omg. get it? haha. I just got it. Express myself. Jeez, Jen.

Miley has MOXY. And chutzpah. And does what none of us dare to do. And she’s real. She puts herself out there for all the world to see.. and she doesn’t give a flying fuck what anyone thinks. Now, I’m not comparing myself to Miley Cyrus. Please. That is just cray-cray.  But I am saying that there is a reason why I had 10,000 people read my blog over the past week. Whether it’s because I’m funny, or not. Maybe it’s just because of the “WOW” factor. People just want to know what that “Crazy-girl-from-the-D” is gonna write next. I don’t really get it. It all seems kinda silly! But hey, if you dig it, then I’m all for it! And I’ll keep writing.. as long as you read. And my biggest point is, if you hate me.. or you hate this blog, you still read it! So, I love that you love it, or hate it. It’s making me want to write more juicy stuff, so I can become the center of all your dinner conversations. “OMG, did you read THAT blog today? What a horrible girl! She said the “f-word” like 22 times,  can you pass the salt.” Jeeeeezzz, people. Can you handle the upcoming “Sex After Divorce Blog”? I might have to ban some of you big ole babies.

But look, it’s not all shitty. Just yesterday, I was spraying tattoos at a Temple Party Planning Expo.. ya you heard me, I was spraying TATTS on the Jews. Love it. And one of the coolest chicks in town came up to me and started up about “THE BLOG”.  Yup. She did. I was scared. And did my little coy bullshit. Put my hands in my face, and started apologizing.. blah blah blah. And ya know what? She said she loved it. And she wanted to live vicariously though me. And I told her, not to say another word! I warned her, I would blog about her! And she said, “Go ahead girl, then I’LL BE FAMOUS, too!” So, TD, I adore you, and thank you for all your POSITIVE energy. Keep reading. And keep discussing my boring life around your dinner table. If it makes you laugh, then it’s all good.

Wow, I feel so much better. Got all that off my chest. And I was feeling so yucky all weekend. Got a few really nice emails, old friends all worried about me.. and my reputation. I am more concerned about what people think about my grammar and spelling errors. Shit. I have Jonah correcting my punctuation.  He’s like, “Mom, the comma goes before fuck, not after it!” Good times. Don’t worry about me, all y’all. I am one tough cookie. But, if this gets to rough, I’ll just start listing the names of the people who are giving me shit. That ought to shut them up. I am so funny. Dang.

And I also wanted to thank all of you who keep giving me ideas for topics. Trust me, I will get to them. Being Single in the City, there’s never a dull moment.. just you wait. Next blog is a doozie.. Dating after Divorce.. not like your Momma used to do! Welcome to 2014. Yeesh. Ever have a first date on Skype? Ya, welcome to my world. Single in any City just frickin’ sucks. But hey, I could be married and miserable! We will talk. And talk…and talk. And I will write. About what we talk about. ;)

xo j