breast cancer

I have some really bad news for you.

I hope you’re sitting down, cause you might be super upset.

I lead you on.

I know, it’s mean. And semi-bitchy. But it was not my fault. I was totally prepared to show you my tits.

Really. Soof Soof. I was planning on posting the biggest picture of my painted TATAS ever, but my Mom said, “absolutely not.” And when Trish talks, Jen listens. I sent her my picture. I did. I texted her my big, painted-up boobies…and she was freaking out. She said, “Jennifer Erika, it is against the law to send naked pictures on your iPhone!” hahaha. omg. I was laughing so hard. I called my sister, and lost my shit. We were cracking up! I was also dying, because if she only knew how many pictures I have sent on my phone. Jeez. Like who hasn’t? I mean it’s totally normal to send naked pics to your old boyfriends, and significant others. And husbands. And well,  ummm. ya. Whatever. Call the Picture Police, or my Mom. I am busted. And you know you have all sent your boobs to people, don’t be haters.

So, with that said, I am sorry guys.

I just can’t do it. If you want to see these TATAS, you will need to come to the Breast Cancer Awareness Event in Charlotte. It’s not like it was that great anyways. I actually had a close friend tell me they were “far apart, and my nipples were uneven”. Nice. Made my day. And fuck you, person. I’ll call my surgeon, and ask for a refund. Yeesh. I am  just happy they are cancer-free.

Today, I am going to be using the F-BOMB, but let me tell you, it’s worth it, and I have a solid point. Ok? If you don’t like the word “fuck” you should end here. Stop reading, and close this shiz down….because it’s balls to the wall, peeps.

 I have just read the article to end all articles. 

My life will be forever changed by this man, and I only wish I wrote it myself. Or thought of it, or had the balls enough to say it. Well, actually, truth be told…I have said it. Over and over, and over in my head. And to certain people in my world, but now….I am going to LIVE it. It’s my new mantra. And I love it. And I love him. Mark Manson, I will find you, and kiss you. ;)

The Law of FUCK YES or NO
by Mark Manson
This man is a genius. I am in love, and we have never met. Good G-d, where have you been my entire life? Have you seen this article? Please, stop here and read it. Go! I feel like you aren’t listening to me, you are still here, right? Jesus can you follow a simple direction? This is going to save you so much time and energy! Ok, I will sum it up. It’s a simple fact, married or single, that everyone wants to be with someone who WANTS them, right? Not kinda digs them, or sorta is feeling it…but is excited about being with them!
So, it’s either  a FUCK YES or NO! 
Plain and simple. Cut the shit. Save your time, and mine for the love of God. Either you are in, or you are out. FUCK YES or NO! Don’t waste your money on a meal, or my time with your bullshit. If your are in the “grey area to begin with, you’ve already lost”. I love it! Mark Manson, you are my HERO! I swear to the Goddess above, I wanted to SCREAM HOOOORAY! after reading this article, I actually sent it to Pita Boy. I did. I sent it right over. I wanted him to know, that after all the back-and-forth we were doing over the past few weeks…this just explained it all. We might really dig each other, sure. And love being together. And while I think he is swell, was it a resounding FUCK YES?
Ummm. No. It was not. Sorry, PB. But it just wasn’t. And he couldn’t say it was either, right? He couldn’t look at me, with any conviction and say FUCK YES! So, guess what? Based on my new boyfriend’s rules…that means NO! NO!!!!! No, no.. and NO! No matter what, that “grey area” is a waste of time, and energy. A total mind fuck, and time suck. I don’t want to be with someone for five minutes that doesn’t want to be with me…without a FUCK YES! If a person doesn’t want to be with you at the beginning of a relationship, what makes you think they will ever be happy?And why would you try to convince anyone to date you?  What does that say about you? I love it. I was trying so hard to convince Pita Boy that I was right for him. What the fuck was I doing? Why!? If he wasn’t happy with me two months in, was I going to be different at 4? Ugh.
Mark Manson, you are insanely smart. And I now have a new outlook on dating. But so you know, there is a little part of this that is MUCHO important. It has to be a FUCK YES for BOTH parties involved. Ya. I kinda left that out. Both parties. Takes two to tango, y’all. No matter what you decide to do in the relationship, the FUCK YES part must be mutual. So, it’s not an ego thing. Whether you want to both be friends, or both have casual sex…or whatever. It’s either a mutual yes, or it’s got to be a no. The grey area is just a disaster waiting to happen. Get out, and move on! No more wasting time, or energy. You have more self-respect. I have more self-respect.
So, let’s all say it together, shall we?
Nice job. I feel like Mark Manson is proud. And JHW is proud, that’s me. I am proud of us. We are so good. And strong. And now, get your sweet buns out there and let’s do this thing! With our new bad-ass attitudes, and FUCK YES’s! Or no’s. Whichever. As long as we all know we deserve people who want us, and dig us. For exactly who we are. ;)
xo j