It’s raining.

And Sunday.

The sky is gray and sad.

I am sad, too.

And feeling pretty shitty.

Sundays usually don’t suck around here. But today, this particular Sunday…sucks shit. See, when you’re divorced and have kids you do the “kid-switch” thing. And some of us do a 2-2-5 schedule. Like, two days me, two days you, then five days, me again. And you alternate weekends as such. Omg, I have NO idea how that works, and honestly, I don’t think I even explained that right. I’m confused writing it, so you can imagine how a kid would be completely fucked up doing it. But it works for lots of y’all. No judgment here. Others, like us, do the week-on, week-off thing. It’s easy and pretty self-explanatory. I have the kids one full week, and Mark has them the next.

It is the co-parenting plan for dummies.

I mean, if I can do it, anyone can. 

Now, some of us that switch our kids weekly choose to do it on Fridays because it just makes it easier for all parties. It gives you the entire weekend to get adjusted to the new house, and ready for school on Monday. Or if you forget something you have lots of time to get it, or do homework, whatever. Instead of switching on Sunday for example which would only allow the kiddos that evening to get ready. Make sense? So, we do Fridays. I either drop them at Mark’s after school, or he will pick them up after work…but either way the guys spend the first weekend in the new house. Get it? Phew. It just makes it a more natural transition for all.

And, we have this week-on-week-off thing for all of eternity. It’s locked in for like the next ten years, and I’m not kidding. So, if you asked me if I was going to have my kids for Spring Break of 2022, I could tell you right now. Or if I could go to see Justin Timberlake next year, hold on…let me check. YES! I’m free; it’s a no-kid weekend. I love it, and it’s good. My life is planned, and so is Mark’s, but the key is to be flexible. I mean if something comes up and we need to help out on our off weeks, we do. Or we switch weekends sometimes. Come on, life happens…and shit happens. But all in all, we are pretty good at staying on schedule.

But today is Sunday, and my kids just left to go to Mark’s house.

We are off schedule, ya see?

He had a family emergency and had to go home to Detroit, so of course, I kept the boys.

I had them from last Friday until today. We had the best week, the best week ever. My parents were here for President’s Day weekend which was so lovely. They got to see me sign books for the first time. I loved that, they were proud, and my Dad walked around telling everyone I was his daughter. Cute, right? Zac made the baseball team and is the starting catcher. Hells Ya! He’s proud; I am proud. Shit, we are all so dang proud! And Jonah found out he’s commentating for the PD Sports Network which is only the “best thing that has ever happened” to him. He eats, sleeps and breathes sports, and if you’ve been around him for any period of time, you know this. Jonah is like a walking Sports Illustrated. He knows EVERY player, stat, number, school or thing there is to know about sports and then some. They also got some high grades, and Z got braces for the second time.

It was an extra-great week.

No fighting, no yelling…

Which made it that much harder when Mark pulled up in the driveway.

I mean, not that it’s ever easy to see them go. But when they’re shitty, or I am stressed from work or exhausted…it is sometimes a little well, easier. I’m like, “Get the hell out you little shits; Momma needs a break!” I have their bags waiting at the door, I am counting the seconds…and the wine is already poured. Ha! But today not so much. Maybe it’s the rain? Or the fact that it’s not our usual Friday switch? Yes! That must be it. Sunday is fucking me all up. Or maybe it’s just that Mark picked them up here instead of me dropping them off at his house. I usually drop them and drive off this time…they all left me.

Sitting here alone.

Just me, a glass of wine and my laptop.

But don’t feel bad for me! I’m fine. It comes with the “divorce territory,” and well, I made my bed. It’s just that some days are more difficult than others. And truth be told, I usually see Number Thirteen on Friday nights after I drop the kids because he has the same schedule as me. (Lucky we are!) But not today because he too had to be flexible with his ex and give up his off weekend. What a clusterfuck, huh? So, he is with his kiddos, and I am now free. When usually we would be hanging out right now doing something together.

So I am singing the Divorce Sunday Blues, Y’all. WaaahaaaWah Waaaa. Wait let me hit me a high note. Waaaaaa! Shit gotta go, the Uber Eats guy is at the door. Best concept ever this Uber driver that brings me food.TCBY right to my doorstep is flat out fantastic. Oh, the boys would’ve loved FroYo tonight!

And that’s how we do it at Mom’s house, peeps. Week ON!

Dinner is served.  ;)

xo j

One Happy Divorce-Hold the Bulls#!t is now available on Amazon and in bookstores everywhere! Jennifer Hurvitz Weintraub can also be found on FacebookInstagramTwitter, and BLUNTMoms.