I am fucking exhausted.
But it’s not one of those exhausted-exhausteds.
Its like way past that.
I’m like too exhausted to even feel my own exhaustion. I am just moving along as if I know what I’m supposed to do. I get up, I get dressed…and I just go. Go, go, go. And then I stop. But not for too long, because if I stop for too long, then I crash. And if I stop for too long, I lose it. Ya know? My forward motion. Inertia. The moving forward thing that just keeps me going. Fuck. Even writing this is making me tired. But I have to just keep going. Keep blogging.
I am exhausted.
But don’t you feel that way with life?
That everyone just expects you to keep going?
Keep moving forward. Just keep doing it all. Everyday. The kids, the laundry…the carpooling. All of it. And you can’t actually stop. OMG. If you stopped, what the fuck would happen to your world around you? I mean who would do it all? I know, why don’t you just shove a broom up my ass? Yes. The proverbial “you” of course. Because I don’t even have a “you” anymore. My “you” is now gone. We were finally final on Cinco De Mayo. Óle! My “you” used to be Mark. I swear to Goddess, I used to ask him if he wanted my blood. Just take it! You have everything else! I was so dramatic. He would just look at me, roll his eyes, and walk out of the room. Ya. I was such a Drama Queen. And now, I just scream to my nonexistent-you…”WHY DON’T YOU JUST SHOVE A BROOM UP MY ASS?” Not that I even know what that means. But I know it makes me feel a whole hell of a lot better. And I’m pretty dang sure it has something to do with the excessive pile of bullshit I have on my plate these days.
I am exhausted.
Don’t you just feel kinda like going to bed, and never getting out?
And please, shut up. Don’t say I’m depressed. Or I need medication. I am already on it. And I can’t up it. And I am not sad. Or lonely. I have the hottest boyfriend this side of the Mississippi. I think. No, I don’t think he’s hot, I know that. I think he’s this side of the Mississippi. I was never good at geography. Mr. T is in Knoxville, where that is…I can’t be sure. But one thing I do know, is that he’s yummy. Even my girls at Starbucks hoot and holler when he walks in the door. I’m like, ladies, ladies…please! He is not a piece of meat! But let me tell you this, if he was in my bed…I would be just fine, never getting out. Never. Ever. Bed, me. Mr. T.
But who has the time for sex? OMG. I AM EXHAUSTED!
I was in Detroit last weekend for my very first Truth Talk! It was so fun. I loved every, single minute of it. I got to talk about the blog, and life…and divorce. And ME! I think I did a nice job, I hope I did. I would love to do more “talks” around town. Or the country. Or wherever. I would probably go anywhere! I think women have a ton to say, and lots to chit-chat about these days. And it was interesting who had the balls to admit they actually read my blog! When I asked the group, some were brave enough to raise their hands high up into the air! And other’s just half way…those little “kinda-raisers”. So, interesting. So funny. So, well…I think we need more alcohol at the next one. Yes! The next one we will invite the MEN, and get everyone liquored up…and make it on a Thursday night. Fab! Thank you, Event Bliss http://eventbliss.webs.com for a simply wonderful virgin experience. I hope all y’all loved having me, as much as I loved being there. And I can’t wait to come back! See you in July, and bring on the BOYS!
So…with that said, The Truth Hurvitz is back, no more breaks. No more resting, and no more vacations. Oh, wait. I have my kid’s Bar Mitzvah next Saturday. Shit. I wrote too soon. Can all y’all cut me just a little more slack until then? I might be just a Tad Martin busy throwing my goysha-heavy party. Remember, my lists have lists. And I am exhausted! Did I mention that already? I am just so damn tired. So tired, and pooped.
Sleep, now. Zzzzzzz. ;)
Tags: blended families, blogging, dating, dating after divorce, jennifer hurvitz, jennifer weintraub, single life, the truth hurvitz