It’s been forever.
I feel like we’ve done this before, but it’s strange.
I’m nervous. A bit uncomfortable, even. Like a first date.
We know each other, right? But it’s been so long…that I feel like we’ve kinda lost that “connection”. Do you feel awkward? Maybe we should go slowly, I should introduce myself to you again? Ease into you…whisper sweet nothings. ha.
Ugh. Well fuck. Let’s just get it back! Come on, all y’all, get all up in my shit, and let’s get this party started! We can do this! Reading my blog is like, well…riding a bike! Or sitting in that old comfy chair. Or wearing that stinky college sweatshirt. Or having sex with your wife after 6 months. Hmmm. Ok, maybe not. But you get it! We can do this. It just feels right, right? Let’s just pick back up where we left off….
Let’s see. Where were we?
So much has happened in the last two weeks. Pita Boy dumped me. I killed him off. He shows up in Hawaii for my little brother’s wedding. (Nice move, by the way). Killer move, PB. I almost died. Deets to follow. Best time ever. Greatest wedding. Love in the air. Look on Facebook, pictures plastered. Still skeptical. But happy. Duh. Who wouldn’t be happy? I am happy. But should I be? Happy that is. Should I be totally happy, or should I still be worried…and second-guessing myself and our relationship after the way Pita Boy dumped my ass two weeks ago?
This my friends, is the question….should I be with Pita Boy?
Life is short. And I am not getting any younger, as I am reminded of this each time I look into the mirror. My neck is sagging. My tits are sagging. My sag is sagging. I swear, I used to have an really hot ass. I’m off topic, sorry. But I am not getting any younger. I don’t have the time, or the energy to put up with bullshit. I get it. Sure. But doesn’t everyone deserve a second chance? I mean, the boy showed up in flipping Hawaii! My entire family was there, and he flew across the world to get me. And put up with The Hurvitz Clan! And me. For a week in Hawaii during my Brother’s wedding, which is a stressful time, and he was amazing. He jumped right in, and loved it. And my family loved him. Why can’t I just get over the fact that he dumped me? So what if he had a brief moment of stupidity? He was overwhelmed, and confused….he freaked out! Jeez. I am a lot. Life is all about second chances. And sliding doors. And so what if I am treading lightly, I can’t just “kill off PB” with out knowing for sure, if he is my “one”.
So, here I am.
Being careful with my heart, again. And maybe walking on eggshells, for now. And maybe, just maybe…I’m holding a few things back. Which is so not “Jen-like”, but I am scared. No one wants to be hurt, but if you don’t take chances in love….blah, blah and blah. So, I am going to give Pita Boy another chance. Which means, a fair chance. Letting go of the past. I need to stop “banking”. Ya know, bringing up the shit that we fought about. Taking it out of the “bank”. And I’m going to move forward. Hakuna Matata, gotta leave the past behind ya. It’s the only fair way to do this thing. Otherwise, forget it. It will never work, if I don’t. And it’s not fair to either of us. We are both strong personalities, and like “win”. We are competitive, and like control. But both sensitive and caring. We bring out the best in each other, and when we are together….there is no place I’d rather be. And that is the truth.
The truth. Shit. The truth is, that boy broke my heart. And when I was younger, I would never have let him back into my life. But with age, comes sag. And with sag, comes maturity….and with maturity comes a little bit of understanding, and a whole lot of forgiveness. And I know when I’ve got a good thing. And Scott, is a good thing. And he just needed 24 hours to figure out that I am the BEST thing for him. And THAT is the truth my friends. ;)
Glad to be back.