Do you believe like, everything you read?
Every, little bit of information that is put in front of your eyes?
People Magazine, Cosmo…Playboy?
C’mon y’all. Give me a break! You have to know that not every single word on this blog is the TRUTH, right?
You do know I’m a Jewish girl from up North?
I live to exaggerate. I love to fabricate. I lust to tell a good tale. A story, an embellished, amped-up, juicy….
Narrative. Ya. A narrative of my life. A taradiddle, of sorts. Just an account of things as I think they happen in my head. Not yours, MINE. So, listen up all y’all. Chill out. Don’t get so wrapped up in the deets. It’s not really going to be any fun if you call me out. It’s actually down right annoying. And rude. And I think you are just jealous that no one licked your face. Now stop it, not everyone can get physically accosted! lol. Just the lucky ones. Puke.
Now, for some reason, this blog has become a total cock-blocker. Ya, you heard me. Worse than my girlfriends at the bar, that won’t let me get in a cab with 22 year olds. This blog is totally ruining my dating life. Guys who meet me, don’t want to date me. They are scared to be “blogged” about. And guys on Match can Google me, and The Truth Hurvitz comes up! Dammit! This dang thing is cramping my style! It’s a total and complete COCK-BLOCKER! Hmmmm. What is a girl to do? I love being able to write. It’s cathartic. It’s fun. It’s well…
A rush. It’s getting me that fix I used to get from acting. That “high” like being on stage, or on a microphone. Or dancing in front of huge crowds. Oh, ya. Attention. hehe. It’s like a drug. My favorite one. But it’s also giving guys a look into my past, before they even meet me. They are passing judgements, they know it all…and it’s hardly fair! They can read about my ex, and my other ex, and well, every thing I’ve done with that ex. And I don’t get to tell it. I don’t get to share it face-to-face. These guys meet the BLOG Jen. Not the REAL Jen. I want them to meet the Jennifer that isn’t The Truth Hurvitz, but just Jennifer Weintraub, Mom of J&Z. Ya know? Ugh.
And I try not to say anything.
I try to just talk about other stuff. But then they ask my last name. And I say, “Jennifer Weintraub”. And they say, “Are you on Facebook?” And then I say, “ummm, ya.” And well, it’s all over. Or they are just better than that. They go on LinkedIn. Or they Google me. I hate social media. But do I really? It’s helping me get my blog out all over the US, Canada and even Australia! Thanks, you guys… how flippin’ cool is that?!!! I love it. And I’m so happy. I’m helping women feel better, and I get so many messages everyday! So if these guys don’t want to date me, cause I have a blog…it’s their problem. It’s a “you” issue. Not a “me” issue. So I am not ashamed, or going to hide what I do anymore!
Men, if you see this blog as an issue. Or you think I’m “too much”, or this is not your style…then I am not the girl for you. Plain and simple. I am a writer. A storyteller. An author. Ok, maybe that’s pushing it. I am just a woman trying to make people laugh, and using my own life’s experiences to do it. I guess, I feel like if I can get through my divorce with a smile….then anyone can. So Match.commers, if you feel like passing judgement before you meet me, then that is a “you” issue, not a “me” issue. A good friend of mine taught me that. He is like a man-child, but I’m picking up what he’s laying down. I should just date him. But he is seriously like 34. Damn. Why are the good ones always so undateable?
That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it. And men, read at your own risk. And then, ask me out anyways. Ya big ‘ole babies. ;)