Babs. My idol. She don’t bring you flowers. Papa can you hear me? The biggest bitch on the block. Yup, you know her, and most of the world loves her. But the industry hates her! And why? Because she is a DIVA. A star. The best of the best. She says, who.. she says, when.. she says…who! And she rules the roost. But boy does she get a bad rap. And there are others: JLo, Beyonce, Hilary, Miss Piggy. Ok, you get the point. Bitches with backbone. Women with MOXY. Ladies who live by their own rules, and beat to their own drum..and don’t take a guy’s shit. Strong, independent, and they know what they want! Ballbusters. Control Freaks. And ya, I have been told by many, especially around golf season…that I fall into the above category. Jeez, that hurts.
So, I have been asking myself this question for years, internally. Well, to myself. I have been asking it, quietly in my head..oh my god, you what I mean! I have been thinking about it, ok!!! And now I’m asking you. Do all y’all think men just can’t handle TOUGH COOKIES? Women who have an opinion. Girls like ME. Women who are strong-minded, and say what they are feeling. Because, I can’t seem to find a guy who can well, “handle me” lately. Well I say lately.. but what I mean is, ever. I can’t find a guy who can handle me, ever. And c’mon am I really THAT hard to deal with? (Mark, this is no time for rolling your eyes, or commenting.)
I just feel like men are babies. I have my shit. I admit it. I don’t eat green food. I don’t. I hate it. No green jello, or green beans. Not even a green Jolly Rancher. Nope. Not gonna do it. And I don’t like the cold weather. Or the heat. I like my body to be in a complete state of homeostasis. I like my food to be the way I like it. But so did Sally, and she fell in love.. you all saw it. At the end of the movie! Sally got Harry, and they kissed, and it was all happy and shit. And for god sake’s SHE was one high maintenance bitch! So, come on guys.. put up with my crap! And so what if I don’t cook. Fuck. I do other things to make up for it. I can dance. But I always have to lead. And do you really want a wallflower? Someone who just sits there, and nods her head.. and agrees with every thing you say? Borrrring. I tell it how it is. I don’t take much crap. I am strong. I am tough. I’m from the D! And I can move mountains. And I never let anyone down. I get the job done!
But every now and then the cookie crumbles.. tough girls have feelings, too. We do. And sometimes, I think men freak out. They don’t have a clue what to do when Tough Cookies crack..
And I’m emotional. And scared. And sad. And sometimes, I just want a guy to see that I’m super sweet, and I cry at the dumbest shit. Like..Kleenex commercials. And I am loyal, and I love my boys. And when I talk about them, even for a few minutes… my face changes. And right now, as I’m typing..I have tears in my eyes. I am not a bad-ass, I have feelings. And I want to be wanted. And I need to be held. And after my divorce, I’m insecure. So damn insecure. Why is it so hard for guys to see that I can let my guard down, but still be strong? And no, I don’t have my fucking period. I’m just sad. Do they want to be punched in the face? I swear, they do.
And I love to just act like a total dork, and be stupid.. and let the man lead. Ya know, guys can be really good at leading, if you give them a chance. I think, I could give a guy a chance. There has to be one out there, that can let me be me. And just “get me”. CAN’T ONE OF YOU DUMMIES JUST FUCKING GET ME?? I’ll give you a prize. It starts with a “J”!
Wow. I am a very complicated, cookie! Hard on the outside, and soft and mushy on the inside. I am getting flippin’ hungry. Shit. I need something to nosh on.. dammit. Focus, Jen.
So guys, I guess the question is.. how do you like your cookie? Tough, or mushy…anyway but tossed, I’m sure? ha.