Face scrub with the Clarisonic thingy…
I do most of my thinking in my shower. My creating. Actually, I do my choreographing in there, too. Oh, and my writing. I spend a lot of time in the shower. It’s my happy place. I just have peace in there, and quiet. My mind is still…and the water drowns out the other noises in my head. I just think. And compose. I come up with a piece of choreography and I literally figure it out in my brain…then I get out, and its golden. Same with an idea for a blog. I shit you not, it just kinda comes to me. I jump out, and write it on a sticky note pad that I keep in a drawer next to the shower. I know, it’s weird. But aren’t all creative people strange? We are. I know we are, but I don’t care. I am fine with my weirdness. I’ve learned to accept the fact that I just do abnormal shit. I dance in my shower, and talk to myself while I wash my hair. And that is just a-okay in my book.
It took 44 years to accept it…
I am creatively coo-coo.
So, with that said…this morning, I came up with a GENIUS idea whilst shaving!
I’ve decided to take this show on the road. Ok, hold your questions. Sit your asses down, and shush it for a sec! I’m not joining the circus, if that’s what you’re thinking. Although, I do imagine I would be pretty dang awesome as a Ringmaster. I’m bossy as all get out, and I love a big crowd. “Ladies and Gentlemen…in ring number one we have the Flying Tigers!” Oh for fucksake. I hate the Circus. I think it’s inhumane, and mean. And you know some poor animal always escapes, or shits on someone. And I hate how it smells. And peanuts are a clearly a health hazard nowadays. Is like every single kid in America allergic to nuts? How can so many kids be allergic to nuts? Little honeys. I just love peanut butter! I would kill myself if I couldn’t eat a Reeses Cup. Holy fuck. Anyhoo…I digress, the circus is not in the cards for me. Yet.
So, here’s my plan…
Its time I share my vast knowledge on all things dating and divorce!
What, you don’t think I’m qualified?
I don’t have enough experience to talk about relationships, and divorce? Well, I have LIFE experience. I have lived through it! And puhlease, I do have a degree in Family and Child Ecology from MSU! Doesn’t that count for something? (shut it, Blue) And I am a fucking GURU on failed relationships! I’ve had like two million. Ok, total Jen-ism…but I do know how to fuck up a marriage, and good! Oh. Wait. What I meant is, I know about all this relationship and divorce shit! I can dish about love, and dating y’all. C’mon!
Just hear me out…
Many of you have asked for my advice; I get tons of emails! How did I get divorced, and live to write about it? You want to know about my friendship with my EX, and how we stayed amicable through it all. Lots of you ask about nesting, co-parenting….and my kids! How are my guys handling the whole thing? Let’s be honest, divorce is more prevalent than ever! YOU NEED ME! Y’all have good questions, and I have honest answers. BULLSHIT FREE. And I’m here for MARRIED couples, too! I get messages thanking me for sharing; the blog changed their relationships for the better, too. They’ve realized how important it is to appreciate each other, and start HAVING SEX! See, a little somethin-somethin’ for everybody!
Truth Talking with Hurvitz goes LIVE!
Well, not really live. A PODCAST! I thought it would be kinda neat to share my experiences on a talk-show-like podcast! 30 minutes with me for shits and giggles….and some helpful info! I’ll have special guests, and great topics! And you will be able to call in. Kinda like Howard Stern, meets…well, Amy Shumer? Or, Carrie Bradshaw? YES! Omg HOW FUN? I tried the VLOG thing, and it sucked ass. It was so hard! It took like 8 hours to make a 4min Vlog! Yeesh. I got lazy. And bored. And let’s be honest, I was annoying. I annoyed myself. So, I’m moving onto the Pod-waves! I think this platform will be so much better, don’t you? Just humor me, ok?
I know, y’all probably think this is my “creative ADD” talkin’. That it’s just a bunch of whoo-ha! But for real, it made a whole lot of sense this morning after my shampoo and conditioning masque. And that goop stays on for a really long time. Now, if I can just figure out how to turn on this microphone…Check…Check. One. Two. Damn this thing! Can I get a little help up in here? Anyone, hello? ;)