It looks the same.
It smells the same.
My drink tastes the same.
Same lines, and food…and same green aprons.
But it’s just not the same.
I don’t feel the same, ok?
I’m sitting here, on location in San Fran…blogging, and it just doesn’t feel the same. I think I have sensory issues. Yup. I do. I have Asperger’s. Fuck it’s not Mark, it’s clearly me. I am the one. I have been blaming him all this time, and I am the fricking one. I can’t understand why I am in Starbucks and it is clearly the same, but nothing is right. Shit. Maybe it’s just me. Maybe I am just not feeling it? Maybe it’s the time change? Nah, I have issues. And besides that, I am freaking out.
In exactly 5 hours I will be meeting the guy.
The guy. I can’t name him yet, because that would be very presumptuous of me, dontcha think? To give the guy a name before he is even a guy? Ya. But I am so nervous I have spent the last 24 hours shopping. I bought 3 new pair of shoes, and a bag. Who needs more shoes? omg. Not . And not only have I been shopping, but I have been sharing “the story” about “the guy” with anyone who will listen. Complete strangers. Sales girls. Waiters. The hotel staff. I feel like I need to share it and get the “ok”. As if I’d change my mind? I’m kinda here already. Not like the opinion of the check out girl at CVS is going to make me head back to Charlotte, but it’s nice to get everyone’s take. I like lots of affirmation. I also showed his picture to the staff at LUSH. Love them. They hooked me up, and I smell like a candy store. You could eat me.
So, last night, after the best day with Les and the baby…I was exhausted. I decided to go back to the hotel and sleep. I needed my beauty rest. Ya well, I ended up in the hotel bar. Doing tequila shots with the bartender. He was awesome, the music was great…and I got to tell “the story” to everyone. I was in heaven. A great couple next to me gave me their two cents, and said I should not put out. Make him wait. A cool 30-year old waiting on his girlfriend said the same thing. Why buy the cow, right? And I was like, are you all high? I did not fly across the country, and get a Brazilian for nothing! Jeez. But I guess they’re all right. I can wait. He can wait. We can just play Scrabble.
Yes, Naked Scrabble. And really, it’s not like anyone is going to know what I do. Unless I was to write about it on this blog. Or post about it on Facebook. Or tweet on Twitter. Or what have you. Which I am not going to do, even if the guy is beyond fabulous…I am going to give him a little privacy. I might blog it after my trip, and give you a “yay or nay”. But that’s it! So, Happy Sunday all y’all…hope you’re enjoying your day as much as I am. And I hope that you all get to feel this kind of nervous-excitement once in your lifetime…it’s rare. You have to take chances, and leap before you look.
The anticipation is killing me. But I have zero expectations, if nothing happens…I have had a wonderful trip to San Fran. And I have made a good friend. I got some new shoes, saw some amazing and beautiful sites…and spent time with my dear friend, and her wonderful family. Do I think this is a love connection? I would bet my life on it. But hey, I believe in happily ever afters…and fairy tales that actually do come true, but it takes two to tango. I can only control my emotions.
So this is a to be continued…