Big, fat, sour…fucking lemons.
When life gives me lemons…I add ice, and vodka…
And shake the shit out of it.
That’s where I am right about now. And that’s the week I’ve had. Basically, the worst week I’ve had in a long, long time. If it could go wrong, it did. I fought with everyone. I cried everyday. And I lost people in my life that I thought were my friends. I trusted them, and I cared about them. And I learned lessons about life, the hard way. Shit. Life really can suck sometimes, but I guess if you want something really, really badly…you just have to keep on going. You can’t quit. And you just can’t give up. Even though I swear, sometimes…it would just be easier to quit. To get back in bed. I wanted to this week, I did. I just wanted to get back in my bed, pull the covers up over my head…and never get out. Someone once said, “Just keep swimming”, and I am pretty sure it wasn’t a someone, it was a something. Ya, it was that fish from Finding Nemo. Ya…just keep swimming, swimming…swimming. It’s been in my head all day. That fucking fish, Dorie, singing in my head. Telling me to just keep doing whatever I need to do to get through my day, and keep on swimming. Ugh. Damn fish.
I was just thinking about when I lost J&Z. Remember, my studio? For those of you who don’t have a clue what I’m talking about, J&Z Entertainment was my DJ/Dance Company here in Charlotte. I was never so proud of anything in my life. Well, except for my boys. Duh. But J&Z, it was a close second. Named after my kiddos, it was going to be the most kick-ass dance studio Charlotte had ever seen. And a month before it opened, Mark and I decided to get divorced. We separated, and the studio went to shit. Shortly after, I closed the entertainment portion of it, too. I was heartbroken. I can still recall the day that Jonah looked at me and said, “You can’t close J&Z, Mom, we were SO proud of you. Now what will you do?” Jesus. Why don’t you take a knife to my heart, Jonah? Like losing my dream wasn’t bad enough? I had the sign above the door, and the flooring picked out…my designer was picking purple velvet couches, and amazing light fixtures for fucksake! I had Tammy running the place. My new life was just beginning. My teachers were hired, my classes were set. My students were excited. I was mortified. I had failed miserably, and disappointed everyone. And I hated Mark. I hated everyone.
Just keep swimming, swimming…swimming.
So what happened this week, I can handle. Shit, if I could survive that mess, I can survive losing some advertising on my blog, right? So what if I have to switch around some stuff, and start fresh? I can do this. I am a strong girl. I got through a divorce, and a move from the D! Come on, girl…grab your balls, and remember who’s in charge around here! I have amazing friends, and tons of support from my family. I will get past this bump in the road. I mean, nothing worth having ever comes easy, right? So, I just need to remember that. This blog has become my thing. My baby. And I am proud of it, it’s my “creation”. And one day, I will look back at this hiccup, and laugh. I will smile, and laugh…and say, “Wow. Remember when I was freaking the fuck out over that?” ha.
The Truth Hurvitz isn’t going anywhere. It’s just going to take a little break…I am going to take break, to catch my breath. I need a week or so, all y’all. I just need to go visit my guy, and regroup. And when you see us next, we will be well-rested. Revived. Fresh and alive! And we might even have some exciting new things to share! Cool, right? So…don’t be going too far away, miss me while I’m gone. And come back soon! I will come back soon. Goddess knows, I can’t stay away very long. I would just die without ya. ;)