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He’s such a dick.

He is the biggest asshole, ever!

He has nothing kind to say.

He can’t even return a phone call.

He doesn’t have a nice bone in his entire body.

But he’s hot as hell, he has more money than Trump….and he lives in the “cool” part of town so who cares! YES! He is a DOUCHE, but so what! It doesn’t matter, he will take care of you…pay for all your meals…and when your alimony runs out in 2022 you’ll be SET FOR LIFE! Perfect. Omg, really? Is this what we have turned into, bat-shit crazy bitches? Searching for men that treat us like garbage, have the hearts of the Grinch… and can’t even utter a nice word out of their slimy mouths. I am nauseous; actually sick to my stomach. And I’m a little embarrassed of my gender lately…

Girls, you need to grab your lady-parts and stop dating dicks. 

I was sitting in the dentist’s office this morning, and chatting with the ladies at the desk. Just as cute as can be! Single, and lovely. One of them said, “Why can’t men just be nice.” Hmmm. Nice? I looked at her and said, “Right! Why can’t they just be nice?” She said, “That should be a blog! Just be NICE.” And so, I’m sitting here…writing this. A blog about just being nice. What the fuck is wrong with us? Why can’t we do it? Why can’t we just be nice to each other? Is it because we get shit on if we are too nice, or taken advantage of? Do the “nice guys” finish last, and do the “nice girls” get the bad rap of being prudes? Come on, all y’all! Nice is good. Nice is sweet…nice is, well…NICE. #duh

How many times do we dump a guy for being “too nice”? I mean, I’ve done it. I have! In fucking high school, and in college. I broke up with the best guy I have ever known at MSU for being “too nice”. (Sorry, Jay.) I even told him so. I actually said, “You’re just too nice for me.” I mean, what kind of loser-girl does that? But look, I was young, and stupid. But I have friends that are still pulling that shit now! Just last week, I had a friend tell me a guy was not right for her. I asked her why? She said,”Well, he’s just too nice for me. I need a little more.” I wanted to reach through the phone and choke her. A little more, what? A little more asshole? A little more, douche? No, she needed a little more money and status. She needed a little more “stability”.  Now, I happen to know this guy. And clearly, he is all things nice: Nice and hot. Nice and funny. Nice and smart. Nice and a catch.

Nice…and available.

So, I decided to date him.

And now, he’s nice and mine. So, while some women are looking for douchey and dicky, others are spending time with honest and authentic. Some women are still wanting that “bad-boy” that makes them “work for it”…the kind that play games. Leaves you wondering where you stand…still on Tinder, always texting other girls when you’re not around. The guys that put their phones face down on the table at dinner. Or still feel the need to “date” other women just for the additional attention. Ya, real nice. But go ahead, ladies! Keep on pining for those pricks. He lies and says he’s still at work, but he’s really on a date. Or in the middle of a nasty-ass seperation…with no end in sight. All yours.

But not me…been there, done that. I’ve got nice now. And you know what’s funny? When you are lucky enough to finally find nice…you want to just be nice. Just be nice. Ha. Look at that! How I just came full circle, did you see that? Fuck I’m good. So, to answer my own question, “Do nice guys finish last?” Well, shit. Let’s keep it real, I’m no first prize! I certainly have my shtick…but over all, I think he’s going to do just fine….Maybe like second or third. But last? No fucking way. ;) #winning

xo j

 

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