I want it now.

Give it to me.

But I said, I need it.

Click, click…and its mine.

I don’t like the word NO!

I swear its like that little bitch Veruca Salt, just took over the Universe…made us all stomp our feet, and whine like brats! It’s the world of Immediate Gratification. We just hop on our phones, and order shoes while we are in carpool. Or find a date by swiping left or right. Shit. It’s too damn easy! Our kids are glued to their devices, and addicted to the instant responses they are getting…and we are letting it happen. It makes it easier for us to do what we need to get done. Am I right? It’s all flipping nuts! No more eye contact, no more face-to-face interaction…no more flirting, or hair flipping. Fuck! I am losing my guts here! It’s all so quick. So fast…so damn simple.

What happened to THE TEASE? 

My best friend, Tammy, sent me this killer article last night, about just that. The thrill of the chase. The hunt for the kill.  The Art of the Tease. Ya know? Like what happened to actually making a man want you? Jeez. These days, a guy just texts a woman up…says a few insincere things, and BAM! He asks for a sexy pic. Are you fucking kidding me? But it happens. Not all of the time, but more than we want to admit. And I am telling you, its bullshit. Why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free? Oh, I am the cow in this scenario. And no woman likes to be the cow giving away her milk. And definitely not for free! C’mon guys…work a little harder, will ya? There is something to be said for a little build up! That “verbal foreplay” you have before you hop into bed. Make us work for it….Tease me! Don’t you just love it?

I love it. I love a guy that ends a date, before I do. Really? He doesn’t want to stay all night? It keeps me wondering. He kisses me goodbye, but doesn’t ask me to come back to his house. Or come over to mine. Hot. He leaves me hanging. Wanting more. Damn. It’s all about the tease. And he doesn’t text all day, and all night. And when I text him, there is not an immediate response. OMG. Is this for real? Is he playing games? Does he not want me? I am so used to the instant reply, that I am freaking out. But it’s just the thrill of the chase. And it’s working. Damnit, this boy has me hooked.

And you have to start it before you get into the bedroom. Before you are naked. Way before. Sure, it’s the best to get him all worked up begging for it in bed! But how about when you are on your date? Give him that little bit of shoulder instead of the cleavage. Show him legs or tits, but not both. Eat that lobster with your fingers, and lick off the butter. Remember Flashdance? Sexy is well…SEXY! Put down your phone, and look at him. IN THE EYES. It’s all about body language, and touching. You can’t be present, if you are texting..or checking the weather. And if he is on his phone, do a sexy flip of your hair, and gently take it out of his hands. Give a lil wink, and set it on the table. It’s all about making him know you want to be there.

Anyway you slice it, we all love the work up. The foreplay before the foreplay. The flirting, and wondering how fast we can get out of the restaurant and into the car…ha. It’s really not about immediate gratification, all y’all. It’s about taking your time, and knowing that good things come to those who wait. Easier said than done, right? Especially when you’ve been texting, and sexting…and acting like teenagers for weeks! But I do think that teasing actually leads to a much better sexual experience in the long run. And this article I read last night, agrees! I’m going to try it…I am! And guys, you know you like a girl that makes you wait. Don’t lie!

A new way of doing things. I’m going to go back to the basics. Like when my parents used to date. When there were no iPhones, and you actually had to talk to one another in person. You could express yourself clearly, with no miscommunication. No “lost in translation”. No LOL. I just think I’m so much better face-to-face. And I love to flirt, and tease. And it just doesn’t come across so well with Emojis. Although, they do make some good ones lately! My favorite is the pile of poop. I use it a ton when I think guys are full of shit. Just a big poop pile. And boy do I wish I was teasing. PLOP! ;)

xo j


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