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Ok, I have arrived.

I am here, and I’m like…big time.

Right?

Fingers don’t stop me now!

There is no going back, this bitch is on fire….

I mean, don’t you think it’s just the prettiest dang thing this side of the Mississippi? Wait, is Charlotte actually this side of the Mississippi? Have I asked that question before? I’m just so nervous. And excited. My hands are actually shaking. Where are the lips? And the huge-ass bubble letters? Where is the do-it-yourself template that Jonah helped me create on my laptop? This is legit, y’all. For reals. OMG IT’S ALL SHINY AND NEW!!! And white. And clean. And pretty. And…sexy. You know, white is the hot new thing in blogs. I think I just came. I’m clearly getting moist in my panties. Yes, I just said that, moist. MOIST. I hate that fucking word, but for my big BLOG debut, I am using it. MOIST in my panties. haha.

Does this thing have autocorrect, or spellcheck? I think it’s so fancy…if I stop typing, it just might write by itself. Holy shit balls, I’m not even kidding. It does everything. I am in Blogger Heaven. You should see this! But does it save on it’s own? Jesus. What does, “Add Media” mean? Should I be adding media? Like a picture of my tits. No. Hmmmm. And I even have “Categories”! You can look up my blogs under different topics. Nice! Like if you want to read about the Face Licker, search under Dating Sucks. And if you think you’re in the mood for a little pillow talk, check out the Sex section. Jeez. I love this thing. It’s kinda like the Corvettes of blogs. Or in my case, the Yukons. I’m totally rolling with my homies.

So, here I am. I am here. And thanks to my girl Wendy Shanahan, and Asterisk Creative…I have arrived. The look is new. But I am still old. Ok, maybe not old…but older. More grown up. And mature. But I feel rejuvenated, and fresh. Clean as a whistle! Ready to start over and jump into this new part of my life with gusto! I am feeling good about my divorce…and this new adventure. I am ready for whatever comes my way over the next year. I have a Bar Mitzvah coming soon, and great things in the works….I hope all y’all are planning on sticking around for the ride?

Well, I’m just thrilled. And…totally hoping this entry publishes right now. I am freaking out. I am actually sweating. Speaking of sweat..I need to go get Botox under my armpits. Shit. Add that to my “to do” list. Now that hurts like a bitch. 9 injections under each arm. But hell, it works. No sweating for a year! Do it, worth every penny. Pain is beauty, girls! If it doesn’t hurt, it don’t work! ha. Anyways, welcome to The New and Improved The Truth Hurvitz! I am so glad to have you here! Now, let’s see if I can figure out how to make this puppy send…shit. ;)

 

xo j

  • Ashley

    I LOVE your new blog Jen!! I’m catching up right now and laughing so hard. You are hilarious! I love you!
    Your “Periodontal Therapist/ Dental Hygienist” lol!

    • Jennifer Hurvitz Weintraub

      I love you…and I am DYING! My teeth are SO CLEAN! ;)

  • Dennis

    Congrats! It looks great! Keep filling it up. I need the laughs!

    • Jennifer Hurvitz Weintraub

      I am gonna try my hardest, Dennis! Thanks for reading! :)

  • Kevin

    I want my hat back! Digging the D!

    • Jennifer Hurvitz Weintraub

      It’s MY hat, silly!

  • Jim

    woo hoo!

    • Jennifer Hurvitz Weintraub

      thanks, Jim! :)