I know…I know, you miss me. ha.

I’ve been slacking.
But really, isn’t that what blogging is all about? Aren’t I supposed to write when I feel like writing? Share when I feel like I have something to say? Talk when I am in the “mood”? Ya. That’s the point, people. And truth be told, I have “felt like it” over a gazillion, bazillion times this week. But I’ve been just a little bit busy.Jesus. Don’t you stalk me on Facebook? Don’t you know where I’ve been, and what I’ve been doing this past week?!
OMG!! I’ve been interviewing for my new job, you guys! My NEW JOB! I have been on location in Cozumel, Mexico with Pita-Boy and his awesome kiddos! Actually, it was my “on site interview”. I was trying to pass the next part of the “GIRLFRIEND TEST”. Sections 3 and 4 to be exact: Traveling to a Foreign Country with Teenagers, and Having Sex without Being Busted while in Foreign Country with Teenagers. I already passed parts One and Two: Learning to Love the Yankees, and Coming to Grips with the Great Outdoors. C’mon, there’s no time for blogging when I am trying to win points with my boyfriend, and win over his children. Hell to the no! I had bigger fish to fry. Better things to do. I had to use every ounce of my energy to be ON.
Turn on “FUN JEN”, GO. 
I was on my best behavior. Yes I was. No swearing. No bitching. No fighting. No meltdowns. Be sweet. Be nice. Be cool. Be FUN JEN. Oy. I swear to the Gods above I lasted as long as I could. I think it was about 12 hours before I said “shit”. And maybe about 34 before I said “fuck”.  I lost my guts when a tree frog landed against our bathroom window while was taking a piss, and only freaked out a couple of times from the killer iguanas. I swear, they were the size of small dogs. Truly, I was on my very best behavior. I only said about ten really, really stupid things. Including, “Go ask your father”.  And my all time favorite, “Does your realmom let you drink that shit?” But, the boys chuckled. I think they thought I was funny! Maybe. And I totally wore appropriate clothing. I even wore a bra. Yay, me! And I changed in the bathroom, they never saw me naked. Phew! I tried to stay sober. And even chewed with my mouth closed. I told clean jokes, and only burped once. Okay, maybe twice. But I never armpit farted. Or real farted. Yeesh. I hope I passed.
I wasn’t nervous. Okay, maybe I was. But they were the best. And made me feel like I was part of their family. We swam, and did all kinds of stuff I do with my boys. And I did things I didn’t do with my boys. Which really made me think. And made me miss my kids. I actually had to stop for a minute and check myself…to stop feeling guilty, ya know, for enjoying myself so much. And you know what else I did? I laughed. I actually relaxed, and had fun! I loved who I was when I was with Scott. In front of his kids. I was a better, well.. me. And we were a great team. I liked how he parented. Scott is a great dad. I found him to be exactly the like the best parts of Mark. Which is why I loved him so much. All these thoughts were spinning in my head. And I just realized that I was loving this man. And loving his kids. And holy fuck, I was losing it.
I found myself asking, “Is it okay to have this much fun with someone else’s family?
Ugh. I dig this guy. I do. And now, I dig his kids. Shit! What now? Well, I could either freak out…and let the guilt overcome me. And ruin the trip. Or just enjoy the time I was spending with the boys. All three of them. And I talked with Scott, and told him how I was feeling. I told him, I missed MY boys. And I felt weird, loving his so dang much. And he smiled. Of course. He’s a flippin’ rock star. And he made a great point. Ready? Just live in the moment, and enjoy his kids while I had them. Why should his guys miss out on my love because I feel bad or guilty? So what if mine are not there to share in the fun? They will get their turn soon enough. DUH! Scott was right. It’s okay to dig his guys. And it’s okay to share me. And enjoy myself with those fabulous kiddos! If this all works out, and who knows…my guys will get a turn with Scott one day, too.So…I did it.

I stopped feeling badly. I stopped feeling sad that my guys were missing out. I stopped feeling guilty that I loved Scott’s boys so dang much, and let myself enjoy them. I have a huge heart. It’s like super-sized. Kinda like my ass. Ha. And it’s not easy to love other people’s kids. In fact, some people just can’t do it. Some people just can’t “get”other people’s kids. They just like their own. Which is fine, I guess. But not me. I truly do adore them. And I adore their dad, too.

There you have it. I think I just might have done okay. Except for one major meltdown which really needs it’s own blog…I think WE did just fine. lol. No, better than fine.

We are BLENDING! ;)

xo j

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