I have to get a real job.
Maybe I should have another baby!
What is wrong with me?
Save it. I know, I know…you’re all screaming at your screens right now, “Jen! Just give it up! Go sell Rodan & Fields, this writing shit just ain’t working anymore!” Ya. I know. I should just give up, throw in the towel…but I can’t. And here’s why…my boys. My boys can’t see me quit. There’s no quitting in this house! No way. Not yet. I am young, and resilient. And I refuse to let one agent, at one agency tell me my work isn’t good enough. Fuck him. This girl isn’t even close to “dead in the water”. I am not done with this uphill climb to no where! Ha! For Goddess sake, all y’all…I just have to keep on going!
So, you have to go with me, ok?
I just have to take you along for this ride, I mean…we kinda all started together, don’t you think? And I feel like, you should be here. With me. Fighting the fight. Isn’t that what this blog thing is all about? I write, you read. I’m happy, you read. I’m sad…you read. I get dumped on my ass…you read. I meet the greatest guy in all the world…you get the point. You read. You just keep reading. My journey, is your journey…if you choose to join me. And If I’m good at what I do, then you keep on coming back for more. You can kinda live vicariously through me! That, my friends, is what makes a good writer. So, maybe (insert agent here) I don’t suck that bad! I love it. And I hate it. But it’s happening. This blog has been my “job” for the last 2 years, and I just can’t quit. Even if I haven’t made a single penny, it’s opened so many doors for me. Opportunities I never thought possible. I wrote a pilot for a sitcom, ok? Big stuff, for a little blogger from Charlotte. Toot Toot. (That is me blowing my horn.)
I just have to keep chugging along…gotta.
Friday, I met with my new web-guru. He’s clearly the smartest man I’ve ever met. He’s twelve; but a genius. Ok, I kid. He’s not really twelve, but he might as well be. I felt like a fucking grandma next to him. I didn’t even know what he was saying. All sorts of gibberish and mumbo-jumbo. But I listened, and tried to focus…And we decided that VLOGGING would be a good plan. Vlogging. Hmmmm. A vlog? Like a Blog with a V? Yes! A video-blog thingy!! I totally got it. I did. The concept wasn’t that foreign to me, but wait…hold on just a Tad Martin…Vlogging means putting myself waaaayyyy out there! As if blogging wasn’t being transparent enough? Now, my face. My voice. ME on the screen? Holy V-words, Batman. Vlog, vagina...vulnerable. I was about to put myself in the most vulnerable of places ever. Where is Brené Brown when I need her? The Queen of Vulnerability, Brené Brown has written books, done TED talks, even given lectures…about being vulnerable. She defines vulnerability as “uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure”. Starting a VLOG would mean totally and completely exposing myself to the world. Ugh. I must be crazy. Or not, maybe I’m just ready to take a leap…
Like jumping off a cliff…and hoping that my parachute opens.
Taking a risk, right? I mean..what if I fail miserably? What if people make fun of me? Talk behind my back. Laugh. How will I look on the camera? My teeth, my wrinkles…my hair. Does my voice sound funny, am I too annoying? Writing is difficult enough, opening up my heart…words on a page. But showing my true emotions, LIVE on a camera, that is a risk most would never take. It is a huge emotional risk, but I think it’s a brave one. And I have to trust you, too. I have to trust that y’all understand where I’m coming from. That you will accept my sharing as authentic, and real. From a place of “I get this, and know what you’re feeling” not a ploy to get your “likes” or up my page views. Being vulnerable means jumping into this new, scary “arena” and stripping off my armor…letting my guard down, and exposing what I have to offer and give.
Exposing even more of Jen.
Brené Brown has changed my life, truly. I am excited for what the future holds, and to share it with all y’all. I mean, if you wanna hang out. But here’s the one little caveat, ok? Please, play nice in my sandbox. Remember that I’ll be genuine and honest, as real as I can be. And I promise, I won’t hurt anyone in the process. I only ask the same of you. Send me messages, and comments. I want to hear everything! I love it. Give me topics that you want me to rant about..it’s going to be fun! But if you have mean shit to say, save it. And look, if you’re not brave enough to try this crap…then don’t have the balls to criticize me. Brené gave me that little tidbit as well. Only she says it WAY better. In fact, I think I’ll put her quote on here today. Just cause it’s so damn good, and if you haven’t read one of her books…do it. She will change your life, trust me.
Blogging with a V. My latest adventure, The Vlog. I think I’ll try it every Friday, or something like that. Call it Jen’s Truth Talks! Or, Truth Talkin’ with Hurvitz? Hey, maybe I’ll talk about vulnerability! Letting your real, authentic, self shine! Nah, boring. Let’s talk about all things SEX and VAGINAS! Who’s in? See you next Friday! ;)