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Social.

Loyal.

Funny.

Charming.

Captivating.

Libra woman hear me roar!

Ya. Roar. Rooooarrr. More like a meow lately. I feel like Simba in the Lion King. Ya know the part when he’s the little fella trying to find his roar? I feel like that. I’m lost. My moxy has gone down the shitter. Chutzpah, kaputz. And I don’t know how to get it back. I was googling astrological signs, to see what a LIBRA WOMAN is “supposed” to look like. How I “should” actually behave. What qualities I “should” possess. As if a Zodiac sign should make you who you are? Who actually buys into this shit anyway? Me. I do. I guess I just need something to believe in; I’m having such a tough time lately believing anything. Or anyone. Or even in myself. And I don’t really believe in God. Which is why I say Goddess, cause if there is one up there…I think it’s a “she”. And she’s pretty, and wearing white. And she is reading my blog. Oh, and she loves it. She thinks I’m a cool fucking chick. And she doesn’t mind my potty mouth either.

So, ya I read up on Libra women. We are strong, and charismatic. We are leaders. We are social creatures by nature..and we light up a room when we enter it. Fabulous. I should run for President. I think I’m better qualified than the dummies we have to choose from. And I have better hair. So tell me, if I possess all these fantastic characteristics, why the hell can’t I feel good about myself? Why am I moping around the house like a fucking teenager on the rag? Why do I get upset when some assfuck doesn’t text me back after I tell him I don’t like cats? Fuck him! If I don’t like cats, and he does like cats…then he is not the guy for me! Priorities, Jennifer. Line them up, and grab your balls. And no, I don’t really have balls. I just act like I do, well at least did. When I felt good about me.

It’s obvious that the last “break up” rocked my world. And I use the term “break up” loosely. I think, and correct me if I’m wrong, you actually have to be together to break up. Ya. Well, we were never really together, I guess. But I cared about him longer than I knew my own brothers. Crazy, right? Figure that one out. Puzzling, and cryptic. He hasn’t called. Or texted. He hasn’t sent me flowers, begging me to come back to him. Or showed up on my doorstep on bended knee; or under my window holding a boom box. Perhaps it’s because I told him to fuck off and die? Oh, ya. Maybe that’s it. Maybe it’s because I told him I never wanted to see him, or speak to him again? Dammit. Why do they listen? Why do men follow directions ONLY when you don’t really want them to? Why? Don’t they know we are just venting? And angry. And hurt. And well, maybe…I was sad. Really sad.

Well, I fucked up.

And I’m the first to admit it. My ego was bruised, and I was angry. It was a total shitshow. And now, it’s too late to get this one back. Even our friendship is destroyed. Burned to the ground. Not even being melodramatic…its totally TORCHED. Like a scalpel through a heart, it’s done. Yeesh. And I have already moved on. Yes, I’m dating. Whatever, fuck off. I told you in the last blog not to get all Judgy Smurf. You can’t do that, and stay here reading. It’s hurting my feelings, and I’m very, very fragile. If you are here, you have to be Team Jen. YOU DO! I can hear you. I can. I can hear you saying, “Jen, take time. Don’t rush. You don’t need to date so quickly.” Blah, blah…blah. I just puked in my mouth. Thanks, but I got this. He was my friend forever, yes…but he was only in my heart for a short time. I’m over it. Obviously! I did tell him to die, remember?

And whatever! He is over me, too. He hates me. I think, I don’t really know because he blocked me. Ya, ya. He blocked my number after I told him he was dead to me. I don’t know why he has to be so mean. Blocking me is clearly so…well, final. It’s so much worse than telling him to die. Don’t you agree? He basically killed me for real. He killed me off in cyber-world. He cyber-killed me. Omg. I am dead to him technologically. OMG HE KILLED ME OFF?! I am dead. Wow. Thank Goddess I’ve moved on. He is a killer. And no one wants to be with a cyber-killer. Unless he unblocks me, and sends me lots and lots of emoji hearts. Yes. That would be like a cyber-CPR of sorts. Cyber-resuscitation! And only then…would I respond to his Cyber-love. And all would be right in the world! Yes. But no. I am dead for now! Call the police, I need to report a murder. 

Oh, did I mention Libra Women are also overly dramatic, bossy, and sometimes rather impulsive? Now, who wants to take this Libra bitch out tonight? What, too soon?   ;)

xo j