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Jonah.

Zac.

Me.

The fearless threesome.

It’s just us, and we kinda rock.

Jonah, Zac…and Me.

Over the past two years, we have learned to do so many things together. Things that I never thought I would, well…we would ever be able to do without Mark. But we have figured it out. Kinda. We get our shit done. The manly-dadish stuff, we got it. And the boys have been the best ever. They surely feel bad for me at times, I mean…I am a hot fucking mess. But they are so good to me. They take care of me. Besides calling me “Jennifer” in public, and body checking me in the aisles at Target, they are really good boys. For real, they’re the best! How they have made it through this fucking divorce I will never really know, but we talk…and they tell me everything. I mean, everything. I think, and I’m not bragging (toot toot) they just feel closer to me. Yes, they do. They totally feel a better connection with me, than Mark. I fucking birthed them for Goddess sake. They should. And they might think Mark is way more FUN, but when the shit comes down…I am the one they come a runnin’ to. I’m the momma.

With that said, I need to tell ya a little tidbit that Jonah shared with me yesterday. It was a really different perspective on this whole “divorce” thing, from a teenager’s point of view. From a kid that is going through it. So, I thought I would pass it along. I asked him if it was ok, and he gave me permission to write about it. He also told me I owed him royalties. Figures. And he wanted me to explain that if every kid looked at the “Big D” like he looks at it, maybe it wouldn’t be so fucking horrific. Ummm, those were his exact words. Quote, unquote. Or should I just have put his words in quotes? How can I have no idea what to do? I have no biz writing. None.

Whatever! Here it is…

Jonah said, and I quote,” Mom, I don’t look at divorce as the glass being half empty. I look at is as the glass being half full. Each week that I get to switch houses, I think of it like a new change. Right when I start to get sick of your place, and you…I get to go see Dad! And vice versa. All new stuff, and all new things. Different food. Different rules. Changing it up. My other room, my other house. My other stuff. I never even once thought of it as sad, having to leave you behind. I know that you are also needing a well-deserved break from us.” Sigh. I looked at him, while we were driving and he looked so grown up. Saying all of that mature crap. His brother sitting in the backseat, agreeing with him. I was so proud. I was so relieved.

I am so happy.

Maybe Mark and I didn’t fuck them up so badly? I mean if parents could explain divorce to their kids like Jonah explained it to me…maybe it wouldn’t be so awful? Cause truth be told…I cry every time they leave me. And I have never once thought of it the way Jonah does. I feel sorry for myself. I am lonely. I wonder what they are doing, and if Mark is fucking the whole thing up. But look! They are actually looking forward to it. The going back and forth, that is. It’s not as bad as we all think it is! And I should relish that fact. My boys have a great Dad, and they are excited to be with him…in their other house. With their other rules. Sorta. And their other X-box. And their other pantry of shitty-sugary snacks that are so not available in my house. NO POP MARK, NO POP!

I loved hearing my almost 7th grader set me straight. Sometimes, I wonder who is the parent. After all, he is 5’8 and 125. And last week, he asked if he could use my electric razor to “manscape” his body. Make it stop….all of it. Just make it stop. I want my babies back, kinda. It is pretty cool watching them grow into such kick-ass guys, right? Jonah, Zac…and Me. ;)

xo j