Dating Sucks

images

I wish I hated him.

Or he did something shitty.

Or he was mean.

I wish he cheated on me…

Or said hurtful words, was disrespectful or unkind. Then maybe this breakup would make sense. Maybe it would be less painful. I’d be able to eat and sleep. I’d stop crying. Ya. Maybe if he was a horrible human being, this break up would be a piece of cake.

images-1

I don’t want to meet the kids.

Or get engaged.

I don’t feel the need to co-habitate,

Or ever blend families.

I am never getting married again, and I think all relationships (after divorce) will eventually come to an end. Yeesh. Do you think I’m being pessimistic? Well, I’m not. I’m being realistic y’all.

And I am in love, and just living in the moment.

I mean, right?

Or do you think I’m full of shit, and just protecting my heart?

IMG_1689

We matched on Bumble.

We chatted for two days.

We exchanged numbers.

We texted for “real” on the phone.

We had an actual speaking conversation for fucksake…it was like we knew each other for years! He said all the right things; I was über witty. We continued texting on and off for a week, and even scheduled a date. A good date…At a hot spot uptown. So exciting! Then, the night before we were supposed to meet..NOTHING.

The douche goes black.

images-1

I have a date.

For Valentine’s Day.

I mean I had a date.

I don’t anymore…

I dumped him.

Whatever, he was a douche. I dodged a bullet! Let me explain, ok? It’s not that hard to figure out…I had a date, with this hottie. He was young, and cute. And we were supposed to be going out tomorrow night, right? But I cancelled. What? Come on…It’s too much pressure for me! I can’t do it. Shut up! You just don’t get it, it’s too much pressure to go out on a FIRST date on Valentine’s Day, ok?! Jeez0-peez-o. I just felt stressed by the whole thing, so I cancelled. I was nice about it, though. I texted him, and said it like this…