Dating Sucks

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I don’t want to meet the kids.

Or get engaged.

I don’t feel the need to co-habitate,

Or ever blend families.

I am never getting married again, and I think all relationships (after divorce) will eventually come to an end. Yeesh. Do you think I’m being pessimistic? Well, I’m not. I’m being realistic y’all.

And I am in love, and just living in the moment.

I mean, right?

Or do you think I’m full of shit, and just protecting my heart?

downloadI’ve dated tall guys.

And not so tall.

Smart men,

And total fucking morons.

Good ones, and…some well, not so good.

Let’s just say, over the past four years since my divorce…I’ve dated some real mishugies. Hell, I have run the gamut from turkey callers to pathological liars….and I’m still here to write about it. I’ve learned a shit-ton about what I’m looking for in a relationship; I’ve grown along the way.

But let’s be real here, it’s been a hot mess. And being single isn’t easy, or as fun as it sometimes looks.

The reality is that dating after a divorce totally bites the big one. 

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I have a date.

For Valentine’s Day.

I mean I had a date.

I don’t anymore…

I dumped him.

Whatever, he was a douche. I dodged a bullet! Let me explain, ok? It’s not that hard to figure out…I had a date, with this hottie. He was young, and cute. And we were supposed to be going out tomorrow night, right? But I cancelled. What? Come on…It’s too much pressure for me! I can’t do it. Shut up! You just don’t get it, it’s too much pressure to go out on a FIRST date on Valentine’s Day, ok?! Jeez0-peez-o. I just felt stressed by the whole thing, so I cancelled. I was nice about it, though. I texted him, and said it like this…

IMG_1241I am not angry.

I am not sad.

I’m not mad…

Or bitter.

My heart is tired.

That’s really it. My heart is just flat out exhausted. If you can try and imagine the poor thing for a minute…beating, and beating. Over and over, and over. Doing such a good job. Pumping all that blood around this kick-ass fucking body of mine…day after day, week after week. Giving and giving…and giving LOVE. Just so I can get what in return? Nada. Zilch. A big fat, fucking NOTHING. Well, that’s not entirely true…I got a lot of love. Plus a bunch of lies. My poor heart is just tired. And I can hardly blame it. It’s been through an awful lot over the last four years. And I think, it’s time for a break.

Hey, heart! It’s me, Jennifer….And I’m going to give you a break.