Take it. images

Go on, just take it.

Before I change my mind…

Just do it.

Take my baby.

I mean, why not? I only spent the last year and a half birthing it for fucksake! Why wouldn’t I just hand it over to you? Wow. I am exhausted. Spent. I feel like someone just ripped out my heart, and stepped on it. Ok, maybe I’m being a TAD-Martin dramatic. But jeezus I am emotional. But it’s done. Done, done…and done. I turned in my pilot two days ago, to my agent in LA. Oh! Didn’t I tell you? I have people! Ya. I have “people”. I have the best, coolest, most amazing people a girl could get out in LA, and they are now holding onto my “baby”. Two days ago, I gave them a pilot. Do you know what a pilot is? I really had no clue. Until my talented-screenwriter Brother told me. It’s a first episode of a TV show. Cool, right?  Well, kinda cool. But I really didn’t know how to write one. Do you? It’s hard as fuck. It’s really, really hard. And I have a new found respect for screenwriters. And anyone who has tried to write any kind of script.  It’s not easy. In fact, its like the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life. Well, except maybe actually pushing a kid out of my vag.

Hence, the analogy.

So, I turned in this script based on my blog. This blog. Loosely based on my life, and this blog…and we will see what happens. Who knows! But along the way, I was lucky enough to get hooked up with a real screenwriter. And he helped me, thank Goddess. Because writing about myself was pretty close to home, and emotionally draining.  I had to remember that I was not me anymore, but a character. My kids, not my kids. And Charlotte, not Charlotte. Russ, my new writing partner, was able to help me create a script that was honest, and real. We worked our asses off…and talked way too much about Jen. And Mark. And all things The Truth Hurvitz. I will be forever grateful to him, and for his friendship. Goddess knows, I’m not easy. But now, it’s out of our hands.

Our baby is gone. For now, at least.

Until maybe, hopefully…

My agent calls and says, “Jennifer, we might have something to work with here!”

And then, I get on a plane, and fly across the Universe…hook up with a famous Hollywood Producer and end up on TMZ!! Or on the Red Carpet! Or, omg…maybe I get to meet SJP? Quick, I need a new outfit. I’m cutting out carbs tomorrow, and starting my Palio-salsa-coffee diet immediately! Its go time…BOTOX OR BUST! I need to Zoom my teeth. Paging Dr. Linger, I need my dentist, STAT! Fuck. I need to start now…

Sigh. Up and down…and up and down. A have a little secret to tell you, ok? I’ve been doing this for over a year now. And my “people” have told me to be patient. I know how this all works, and although I am excited…I know it’s  a total long shot. I’m staying positive!  But also being realistic, and not getting my hopes up.  I just can’t. It’s kinda like dating for me; I am always cautiously optimistic. Make sense? I go into each date, hoping for the best, but kinda expecting the worst. I know, totally  depressing. But come on! I have to protect my heart. And this is the same thing. I have to protect my feelings, right? I want this to happen, I’ve worked so hard. But a year ago…it was nothing. I was just blogging for me. And then, I got a phone call. And it changed my life…

So, cross your fingers, all y’all. Hurry up! I mean, don’t you think it would be great to see my train wreck-of-a-life smeared across your TV screen? Yikes! And just remember…all the names and places will be changed to protect the innocent! But the guilty? I’m keeping your names the same. ;)

xo j

 

 

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