I am obsessed with Howard Stern.
What?
It’s a new thing, and I can’t stop listening to him.
I love him.
I want to be him when I grow up…and truthfully I’d do just about anything to get on his show.

With that said, this morning he did this “montage” that made me laugh so hard, I cried. Tears were running down my face; I almost got in an accident. Even the boys were laughing! I shit you not; the man is a genius. This montage was of all the things he hates. I’m chuckling just thinking about it. He called it the “Montage of Things I Hate,” duh. So, I feel the need to steal this from him; surely he won’t mind. Howard, do you care? Ha.

The ball has dropped, bitches.
The horns have been a blown.
Balloons popped.
Friends puked.
Bring on 2018.
I have never been so ready for a year in my life.

Ok, so other years not so much. 2015, not a fave. 2009, the fucking worst. And I could give or take 2016. But this year, 2018…bring it on! I am ready, with guns blazing. There is nothing I can’t do. In fact, it’s only a week in, and I’ve already got a plan in action. Stick with me, and I’ll fill you in on a few secrets…


I have it all.

A best selling book.

An award-winning TV pilot.

My kids are happy, and healthy…

And I’m in a great relationship with a kick-ass man.

What more could a girl possibly want?

Shit. Don’t ask. It should be a no-brainer, right? I mean it should be rhetorical. I should want for nothing! But for shits and giggles (and this blog post) let’s just play my little game of twenty-ish questions, shall we? And no, that doesn’t count as one.