back to school It’s rainy.

And gloomy…

Pretty gross out today.

Perfect for driving.

NOT. So, of course…I’m only that much more freaked out as I watch Jonah drive away in the Prius with the STUDENT DRIVER sign on the top. Oh fuck. Not only do I officially have a kid old enough to be driving, in two weeks he’s starting high school. I can’t stop crying. In fact, I haven’t stopped crying for days.

I’m filled with so many emotions.

But why?

Is it because Jonah is growing up so fast, or that I am? 

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I don’t want to meet the kids.

Or get engaged.

I don’t feel the need to co-habitate,

Or ever blend families.

I am never getting married again, and I think all relationships (after divorce) will eventually come to an end. Yeesh. Do you think I’m being pessimistic? Well, I’m not. I’m being realistic y’all.

And I am in love, and just living in the moment.

I mean, right?

Or do you think I’m full of shit, and just protecting my heart?

downloadI’ve dated tall guys.

And not so tall.

Smart men,

And total fucking morons.

Good ones, and…some well, not so good.

Let’s just say, over the past four years since my divorce…I’ve dated some real mishugies. Hell, I have run the gamut from turkey callers to pathological liars….and I’m still here to write about it. I’ve learned a shit-ton about what I’m looking for in a relationship; I’ve grown along the way.

But let’s be real here, it’s been a hot mess. And being single isn’t easy, or as fun as it sometimes looks.

The reality is that dating after a divorce totally bites the big one. 

We mock what we do not understand.images-1

And let me just say this….

I

do not

understand.

I can not fathom how normal human beings (by normal I mean non-SuperHeros) can do the things that CrossFitters do. Oh, sorry…My bad. Do Y’all know this CrossFit shit? These ULTRA-insane looking men and woman who have like zero body fat and are able to leap small buildings in a single….oh wait, that’s not a CrossFitter. That’s fucking Superman. But I swear to Goddess, they are one in the same. Have you seen these people? Holy Hardbodies, Hurvitz. Wake up! Why in the hell am I dating a CrossFitter?

Why when I smash Duck Donuts like it’s my job…would I EVER fall for a guy that counts macros, and runs twelve miles in a weighted vest for FUN?